When life gets in the way

Hello. Yes. It’s been a while.

Where have you been, Debbie?

I took a hiatus from writing to digest all that has happened this year. I was battling a daily fight between my emotions—sometimes depression, sometimes freedom, and most of the time scatterbrained (somehow mask-wearing was affecting my ability to think straight. After 9 months and seventeen masks you would think I would get used to it. Apparently not.) Well, I’m still taking it all in and maybe for quite a while.

Those damn roadblocks. Always in the way!

I decided to accept my temporary state and not judge myself for not persisting. Simply, life got in the way, as it usually does. Just when you think you’re on a track, roadblocks pop up, almost daring you to take them on. I am so headstrong and mindlessly focused at times, it takes me a while to realize that a roadblock has emerged and that’s why I’m just spinning my wheels. Oh. No wonder!

This is what life is all about. When you’re in your 30s you think you have finally figured it out, and you are positive that life’s events will go exactly as you planned.

So, how’s that turning out for you?

Make a plan – 5 steps

The key here is to have a plan, and plan accordingly. Don’t get so stuck in your head that you become paralyzed, so take it easy.

I’ll break this down for you.

1. Life is constantly fluctuating. It’s like your breath. You breathe in; you breathe out – it’s inevitable as long as you are alive. What happens when you hold your breath? Nothing happens. You’re waiting for that relieving gasp of air. It’s the same idea as life’s changes. Coping with it always ends with your breathing, in and out.

2. Sometimes roadblocks involve unexpected emotional crises. Understandably, you might feel like you will live in this state forever, and you can’t even see the other side. Remember that life changes and be confident you will return to yourself again. You will be okay. You will be more than just okay. You will have experienced something so profound and life-changing, and you will have mastered resiliency. This deserves self-congratulations.

3. Take a break from yourself. Literally. Walk away. It’s so easy to get caught up in the trap of what you think should be the next step but isn’t happening. Do an activity that you love to do. Let yourself get carried away with the moment and try not to think about the roadblock. This will allow your mind to be freer, and possibly come up with a solution.

4. Roadblocks can bring out the inner critic in droves. Roadblocks can make you feel worthless, inferior, not lovable, and on and on. To stop this nonsensical inner chatter, be sure to acquire self-love. Write down 6 things you love about yourself. Then write down 6 things you think other people love about you.

5. You are not an island. It’s natural to ask for help sometimes. People love to help people. You can reach out to friends and family, or get professional help. Either way, you are not alone.

Whatever path you go down, I know you will knock off those roadblocks. You can do it!