How Resilient Are You?

When something unexpected comes your way, you can either panic or adapt to it. Learn how to deal with unexpected things that pop up in your life. I want to share something that happened to me last week that made me really hone my resiliency skills.

Last week I went to my dermatologist for what looked like a basal cell on my leg, (and according to my older brother, was “probably a melanoma” and I only had 3 months left to live – It wasn’t a melanoma.) But an hour later when I left her office, I felt like I had been through the war. In my annual body check visits I usually just had maybe 1 zap of liquid nitrogen. But this time she zapped 2 on my leg, 4 on my face, 2 of which were pre-cancer; plus, she told me that I needed to apply a lotion for 2 weeks on my nose, which will turn it bright red for the entire time, and will probably make it look like my nose is burning off.

All this may be TMI, and I’m sorry, but these things happen and they’re real life.

I was stunned driving home. I felt numb. I felt older. I felt like a victim. So this is how it’s going to be from now on? I stayed with those feelings for quite a while, but then started to think about how I can take these setbacks and stay resilient.

I have 5 recommendations that could help you to become more resilient.

1 Try to learn how to go with the flow. Be flexible while not personalizing it. Stop dramatizing emotional reactions. Take a look at your reaction objectively, and determine if it’s realistic.

2 Realize that setbacks are usually temporary and you will come out the other side.

3 Step away from getting caught up in details when you’re upset. Look at the bigger picture. Are the details that are upsetting you part of the bigger picture?

4 Not everyone is perfect. Accept that you can’t control others so try to be a little more forgiving. Are you perfect?

5 Take action. Don’t let this setback leave you in paralysis. You will feel more empowered if you take any action, even if it’s baby steps toward a solution.

The most important thing is to accept that it’s okay to lean on your support for help when you need it. These people are not judgy and they love you and want to help.

So, I too will be following these steps next month when my nose is on fire.